i should be 16 or 17...
yeah...
anyway...
i don't think any of my friends (including myself) are where they should be right now. we're all displaced and disaffected one way or another. some of us want to be somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. others want to do something else, to not just go though the motions of living because we can't see any other alternative. some simply want things they don't have and don't feel they can possibly get. some, like me, aren't even sure we know what we want at all.
our little group is like a microcosm of all the bright, young kids of our generation. everyone, it seems, feels so hollow and empty and unsatisfied with the way things are. shoot, i'd be willing to bet that even the jocks and bitches and other drunken-partying-druggie-shallow-vain people feel the tug of this inexplicable void from time to time.
maybe all generations go through this sort of thing when the transition between child and adult occurs, but it seems that the modern world and today's society are catalysts for my generation's plight. there is so much information, so much determination, and so much indoctrination that it dosen't seem that anyone, or anything really matters in the grand scheme of things... i sit in my room angsting (yes, a word) and the world dosen't give a shit. the world never gave a shit, but in the past you would hurt you villiage or town or farmstead by being so empty. now your disaffection is nothing more than a microscopic negative to the GNP.
none of us have figured out how to deal with this. some just go with the flow, do their work and try not to think about it. some, like yours truly, do everything they can to distract themselves from this unquenchable thirst for meaning. some set goals and jump out into change to see if it's the change they've been looking for this whole time. we're all just blindly hoping that we'll find it, or perhaps that it will find us, and that we'll be smart enough, or maybe even dumb enough, to see it when it does.
we are a generation of dreamers who can't find the dream--and it's tearing us down, inside and out.
yeah...
anyway...
i don't think any of my friends (including myself) are where they should be right now. we're all displaced and disaffected one way or another. some of us want to be somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. others want to do something else, to not just go though the motions of living because we can't see any other alternative. some simply want things they don't have and don't feel they can possibly get. some, like me, aren't even sure we know what we want at all.
our little group is like a microcosm of all the bright, young kids of our generation. everyone, it seems, feels so hollow and empty and unsatisfied with the way things are. shoot, i'd be willing to bet that even the jocks and bitches and other drunken-partying-druggie-shallow-vain people feel the tug of this inexplicable void from time to time.
maybe all generations go through this sort of thing when the transition between child and adult occurs, but it seems that the modern world and today's society are catalysts for my generation's plight. there is so much information, so much determination, and so much indoctrination that it dosen't seem that anyone, or anything really matters in the grand scheme of things... i sit in my room angsting (yes, a word) and the world dosen't give a shit. the world never gave a shit, but in the past you would hurt you villiage or town or farmstead by being so empty. now your disaffection is nothing more than a microscopic negative to the GNP.
none of us have figured out how to deal with this. some just go with the flow, do their work and try not to think about it. some, like yours truly, do everything they can to distract themselves from this unquenchable thirst for meaning. some set goals and jump out into change to see if it's the change they've been looking for this whole time. we're all just blindly hoping that we'll find it, or perhaps that it will find us, and that we'll be smart enough, or maybe even dumb enough, to see it when it does.
we are a generation of dreamers who can't find the dream--and it's tearing us down, inside and out.
posted by Will @ 3:48 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:34 PM, January 31, 2006,
Coca-Bokeh said…
-=:: Kneels ::=-
At 1:19 AM, February 01, 2006,
Watchman said…
There's no doubt that for years of my life I felt that exact same way. There was a void, a search for purpose in life, or at least an overall sense of contentment. I wasn't finding it through money, girlfriends, head knowledge, or trying to do good in the world. My own efforts simply failed. I was only able to find a sense of peace, and meaning when I stopped living my life for myself. I had to start living my life the way God wanted me to. I had to really develop a relationship with Him. Going to church and just going through the motions wasn't fulfilling me whatsoever. In fact, just "playing church" was a waste of time. It's not about religion; it's about a relationship with the One who first loved us. Will, I am truly satisfied because I am living my life for the one who allows me to have eternal life. I am living for something much bigger than myself. My plans, however good they may seem, are nothing compared to what God can do with my life.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 16:25
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
I am not writing to preach at you Will, because you are my friend and I respect you. I simply want to share my experiences and where I have found satisfaction. I am convinced that living my life for Christ is the only way I will find satisfaction in life. Just knowing that God has a reason for each of us is amazing. We really do have a purpose for existing; it's not an accident that we are who we are, or why we are living when and where.
One of my favorite scriptures about trying to do things our way:
"Therefore in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." Acts 5:38,39
Here at A&M, I've gone through some times where I've never had so few friends, been broke, and felt so lost. But the Lord has sustained me through it all, and now having learning over the past few what it means to live for Him I have never been more happy with my life. Yes, sometimes the costs are great. Following Christ demands sacrifice, but the rewards far outweigh the costs. I always believed that some of the best things in life aren't easy anyway. I am fulfilled by having a close relationship with the Lord because through great commitment comes great intimacy.
Me saying all this may not mean much, but I promise if you start searching your heart, praying, and reading the Bible, God will meet with you in your moments of weakness and doubt. Please consider truly seeking Him because I thought I was for a long time but really I was still living for myself. I'll be praying for you. Sorry this was such a long comment.
At 12:18 AM, February 02, 2006,
marius said…
true that
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