just got home, this was in my e-mail, thought it was clever (though kinda retarded)... anyway...
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives
it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So What?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into
office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to
raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and
start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes yo u to the
point you have to sell both to support a man in a
foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift
from your government.
CAPITALISM AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and raise
a heard of cattle.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots
one and milks the other, pays you for the milk, then
pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other
to give the milk of four cows. You are surprised when
the cow drops dead.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one
tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon
images called Cowkimon and market them World Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn that you
have five cows. You count them again and learn that
you have forty two cows. You count them again and
learn that you have twelve cows. You stop counting
cows and open another bottle of Vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have five thousand cows, none of which belong to
you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them both.
A REDNECK CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left looks kinda cute!
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives
it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So What?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into
office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to
raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and
start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes yo u to the
point you have to sell both to support a man in a
foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift
from your government.
CAPITALISM AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and raise
a heard of cattle.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots
one and milks the other, pays you for the milk, then
pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other
to give the milk of four cows. You are surprised when
the cow drops dead.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one
tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon
images called Cowkimon and market them World Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn that you
have five cows. You count them again and learn that
you have forty two cows. You count them again and
learn that you have twelve cows. You stop counting
cows and open another bottle of Vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have five thousand cows, none of which belong to
you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them both.
A REDNECK CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left looks kinda cute!
posted by Will @ 3:09 PM
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