Hair Care Holy Grail... or something like that.

Whenever the time once again comes to restock my shampoo and conditioner supply I tend to procrastinate as long as my conflicting desire for clean hair will let me. I always undertake the quest for new hair care products with a little reluctance—it takes just a little bit of mental preparation to steel myself against what I know is coming.

This was once again the case today as I wandered through Walmart towards the shampoo aisle. I rounded the corner while skillfully threading my cart between the elderly woman and the Old Spice display and the inevitable realization once again hit me: there are a metric shit-ton of shampoo/conditioner varieties.

I slowly make my way down the line, head bouncing to the left and to the right, just trying to take it all in. Of course, I always hope that one particular bottle will just leap out at me and the ordeal can end in a sudden burst of decisive action. Alas, tis never the case.

So instead, I stand there, contemplating my options. Soon, my stance becomes a crouch as I examine the bottles more closely, desperately searching for any kind deciding factor amongst the sea of fragrances and features. I think to my self, “Self, what do I want my hair to smell like for the next shampoo-bottle-duration-time-unit of my life?” A difficult question to be sure.

Then, it hits me—the eureka moment: “I want my hair to smell like a god damned waterfall! Yes, a waterfall, that's the scent that I associate with clean, healthy, beautiful hair!” And lo and behold, right in front of me is a bottle of Suave Refreshing Waterfall Mist shampoo. AWESOME. I seized the bottle with vigor and in the blink of an eye all of the hair care power of a waterfall was in my shopping cart. As it turns out, I had nothing to fear from this trip to the front left corner of the local Walmart.

Now, after reading all of this, some of you may be thinking to yourselves, “what in the hell does a waterfall smell like?” Well, here's you answer: a waterfall smells like my hair after the next time I wash it.

so i'm 22. whooo. yeah.